Take A Picture, It'll Last Longer
by jada jasmine
Summary: Doomed men are drawn to Blair Waldorf like a moth to a flame.// Chapter 3 - Eric Northman, True Blood
1. Bruce Wayne

**I. Bruce Wayne**

--

After one particularly heinous session of midterms, with her mother and Cyrus going to London for the week and her Dad and Roman occupied with the newly adopted Cambodian twins ("Isn't it so Angelina?"), Blair takes Serena with her to Gotham City for the week before Christmas.

"Blair, make sure you visit our friend Bruce Wayne. I hear he's quite the catch."

Eleanor raises her eyebrows, and continues talking about how great Bruce Wayne is. Which is what she's tended to do about anyone with a suffix and/or lots of money since her repeated failure of a relationship with Chuck Bass.

Blair rolls her eyes and agrees to do it, if for no other reason other than she's always been one to keep up appearances. She gets the number from her mother and makes a note reminding her to call while in Gotham on her new BlackBerry.

But then Serena comes over to help her pack and Bruce Wayne slips out of her mind. Three days later, Blair has packed the majority of her new winter wardrobe including a new Burberry trench, Marc Jacobs sweaters, wool skirts from Phillip Lim, and killer brown suede Sergio Rossi boots, among her other fantastic clothes.

--

The plane ride is about three hours, and Serena talks about how excited she is while Blair thumbs through her January French Vogue and throws in her typical witty comments whenever Serena says anything particularly stupid. And what's even worse is that they're flying commercial. The point is, when they land all Blair really wants to do is get a vodka martini and find a cute boy.

"And so _then _Carter got all jealous because I was hanging out with Nate and then IdumpedCarterbecauseIthinkIloveNateandNatewantstobewithmetoo."

All of the air whooshes out of Blair's body and she's surprised she can even formulate a response.

"You're going out with Nate? What, you thought if you said it fast I wouldn't hear it? That only confuses small children or the mentally retarded."

Serena smiles and giggles, and while she at least has the decency to look nervous, Blair can't help but be annoyed. After all those years when Nate was _hers _and the summers at the Vanderbilt's and the I love you's and the goddamn ring and the green sweaters with hearts sewn into sleeves.

Blair sighs, because she loves Serena and knows that this is her own twisted way of asking for permission. She just twists her ruby ring around her pinky and forces a smile on her face nodding and giving whatever approval Serena was looking for in the first place.

It's not like she's surprised really. After all, Serena has always taken what she's wanted with little to no regard of whom she would hurt to get it. Serena starts telling the oh-so-magical of her and Nate's reunion while Blair fights the urge to gag and stares absentmindedly out at the Gotham skyline approaching.

Yeah, a martini sounds good right about now.

--

Serena calls Nate when they get into their suite at the Ritz-Carlton Gotham, giving Blair the thumbs up and a gorgeous smile and running off into the bathroom to have a perfect, sickening relationship with the boy Blair once thought was her forever.

Then, her BlackBerry goes off.

The note reads:_ Call Bruce Wayne, family friend. Dinner preferable. _Which Blair does. Immediately.

Alfred invites her to dinner the next night at the Wayne Penthouse and when Blair casually mentions the Manor, Alfred clears his throat and calmly states, "Tragic fire. It's being rebuilt brick by brick as we speak."

"And is there any chance I could talk to Bruce myself? We are actually friends." Blair says it teasingly, because everyone knows Bruce is a bite of a recluse and even more eccentric than anyone on the Upper East Side.

"I remember when your father and mother brought you to Gotham quite a few years ago. You probably don't remember me. As a recall, you spent most of your time chasing after Bruce and Rachel, even though they were older than you." Alfred chuckles in remembrance and then becomes somber, Blair can hear it through the crackly reception of her phone.

"Well then seven thirty at the penthouse?"

"Yes. See you then, Miss Waldorf."

After she hangs up, she wonders if Dorota would start making all her appointments for her.

--

Blair spends the next day shopping, assuring Serena that she looks even better than Angelina Jolie in the leather Stella McCartney dress she tried on and picking up a few things of her own. They lunch at a five star restaurant downtown, and Blair feels so at home it makes her heart ache.

Come dinner time, Serena flits off (in the leather dress) to meet up with a couple people she met in line at Starbucks and tells Blair with a wink that she won't wait up for her to get back from Casanova's castle.

She laughs it off, but something at the bottom of her stomach wants to click instantly with Bruce Wayne. If for no other reason than to finally have something Serena hasn't. So she carefully zips herself into a long-sleeved navy Proenza Schouler and black Prada booties and slides a black velvet bow headband into her curls as a security blanket.

When she gets to the apartment, she greets Alfred with an air kiss and is seated at his table.

"And where is Bruce this evening?"

Alfred's face might have clouded over, but Blair can't be sure.

"Master Wayne should be home soon. He had some…business to take of."

Blair nods, because after dating Chuck she knows how much business means to men (even in her head it still sounds bitter and she hates it). But after five minutes turn into twenty and twenty into an hour, Blair decides she's been made the fool enough.

"Alfred, please give Bruce my regards, and that I'm sure we would've had a wonderful time had he decided to show up. It's been lovely."

She kisses him on the cheek on her way out and her shoulders don't crumple until she hits the elevator.

When she gets home, Serena is back into her silk teddy drinking hot chocolate and Blair doesn't ask about why she isn't out pursuing the Nate Archibalds and Chuck Basses of Gotham. She knows she wouldn't like the answer.

Instead, she changes into her pj's and cuddles with Serena on the couch and they watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith while discussing the merits of Angelina (Serena, big surprise) v. Jennifer (Blair). They fall asleep entwined together while Mr, and Mrs. Smith are wearing matching white button downs, and Blair loves her best friend again.

--

The next morning, Blair wakes up with a crick in her neck and Serena's head in her lap. After sliding out from underneath her, Blair pads over to her cell phone and calls room service for an order of an egg-white omelet with spinach and feta and an order of chocolate chip pancakes with two lattes.

While listening to her messages, she's surprised to hear from one Bruce Wayne.

"Hello, Blair. I know you couldn't possibly have had a good time with old Alfred last night. Any chance I could talk you into dinner tonight? I know some great restaurants. Call me back. Oh, and I promise I'll be around. Unless you call, I'm coming to your hotel room at seven. And I own your hotel, so don't try to run from me."

Blair sighs and wonders if she'll ever learn.

--

When Blair walks out her room in an emerald green Zac Posen dress, Serena wolf-whistles loudly and makes several lewd comments.

Blair smiles and toys with the hem of the short dress and even does a Tyra-inspired walk down the hallway.

Serena laughs out loud and says, "So who are you all dressed up for? Are you hiding the hotties from me Blair Waldorf?"

"Hardly. It's that ass Bruce Wayne again." The eye roll fools Serena but Blair's heart skips a beat at his name.

When the doorbell rings ten minutes later, Blair purposely makes Serena talk to Bruce for ten minutes in order to keep him waiting. But when she first meets him, the only thing she could think was that he was completely worth the wait.

In what looks like a custom Armani three-piece pinstripe suit, Bruce looks better than Nate or Chuck or even Carter ever did and when he leans down his six foot frame to kiss her on the cheek she almost swoons.

"It's so nice to see you, Blair."

"It's so nice of you to show up, Bruce."

He chuckles and has the decency to almost blush explaining that he had urgent business and Blair cuts him off by walking towards the door and telling Serena not to wait up.

--

He takes her to his latest project, a Japanese restaurant named Ryu that already has a two-month waiting period to get a reservation.

"So, Blair Waldorf, it's been what, ten years since I last saw you. You've aged wonderfully."

"I'm not some Bordeaux that's been in the back of your wine cellar, Wayne."

"And I didn't mean for it to sound that way, Blair. I simply meant to compliment you."

Blair scoffs and then the waiter comes over so she can't say much else. When he orders for them both she doesn't know if she should be indignant or turned on so she settles for some kind of repressed sexual tension that always gets her untroubled.

They make small talk throughout the rest of the meal, and when they get up to leave he puts his hand on the small of her back.

She shivers.

--

She fingers his lapel and compliments his suit when they're waiting for the valet and he raises his eyebrows as the Lamborghini rolls up.

Serena might be sexy, but Blair can be seductive in the old Hollywood Glamour way of hers that only comes from watching black and white movies and wearing Audrey outfits.

When they get to the first red light, he leans over to kiss her and Blair thanks God he didn't decide to take a limo.

--

After what seems like an eternity of kissing heatedly every block, Blair thinks she couldn't possibly be more turned on until he opens her car door and picks her up with one arm.

With her legs wrapped around his waist, she pants as he plants kisses all down the nape of her neck and in between her cleavage until the elevator finally reaches his apartment.

He's better looking than Nate and a better lover than Chuck and makes her come twice before he even enters her.

They have sex against a wall and on his bed and Blair moans and writhers underneath him in ectasy. He collapses against her and whispers her name against her pulse and Blair just smiles as their skin sticks to each other.

"Best wine I've had in a while."

Blair full out laughs for the first time the entire trip and Bruce smiles because he can feel her laughing against every inch of his skin.

They fall asleep somewhere around three and it isn't until the five minutes before she falls asleep that Blair notices the scars.

She tells herself it's just because she's so tired even as she feels them underneath her fingertips.

--

The next morning, there's a note.

_Business meeting in Shanghai. Life or death situation. _

There's no apology and it's hardly an explanation but Blair has little time to process any more before Alfred jumps nearly a foot at seeing her in Bruce's high thread count, Egyptian cotton sheets.

Blair does the walk of shame with as much dignity as she can muster and walks out of the apartment for the second time in just as many days feeling disappointed by Bruce.

--

Ever the charmer, there are a two dozen red roses waiting for her back at the hotel from him and Blair tears the card in half which probably contains some half-assed apology that wouldn't make her feel any better about waking up alone. Besides, there are only four days left of her vacation and she's not going to waste it mooning over some poor little rich boy.

--

(even if she wanted to, Bruce doesn't call again while she's in Gotham so she boards the plane without thinking twice.)

--

Eleanor inquires about Bruce while they're talking over the catered Christmas dinner and despite Serena kicking her under the table and biting her lip, Blair simply takes a sip of her champagne.

"He passes along his best to you and Daddy."

Eleanor looks disappointed and turns around to start talking to Cyrus again while Blair tucks Bruce Wayne somewhere in between 'Chuck' and 'Carter' in her heartbreaks.

--

_Five years later, Bruce will mysteriously go missing. After a ten day search, he will be found in the Batman's costume at the bottom of the river. Blair will be watching the breaking news bulletin on CNN when the video footage comes in and all she will be able to think about is the feel of his hand on the small of her back and his car's leather sticking to her thighs. She will run into the bathroom and throw up (without the help of her finger) and that will be that._

--

**AN: So what started out as a one-shot morphed into chapters because I couldn't keep the interactions short enough. Next up: Jasper Whitlock. Oh, and mystripedskirt, this wouldn't have come out for weeks if it hadn't been for you, so thanks!**


	2. Jasper Whitlock

**II. Jasper Whitlock**

--

Serena gets accepted into Columbia at the last minute (which no one is surprised about) and proceeds to resurrect Gossip Girl and become the most popular girl in school in a matter of days (which no one is really surprised about either).

Since Blair has hung out with Humphrey far more than she would ever admit, she almost instantly agrees to go to Serena's friend's roommate's big sister's (jeez, Blair feels like she's in Ferris Bueller's Day Off) birthday party.

The two get ready in Serena's perfect apartment, the walls painted oranges and blues and golds and greens that would be ridiculously extravagant for anyone else but of course looks amazing with all of Serena's various trinkets from around the world and her various suitors.

Serena wears something short, sparkly, and Herve Leger while Blair decides between a silver strapless Derek Lam or a violet asymettrical Nina Ricci dress.

"B, come on, you know you look gorgeous in both! Let's just go already!"

Serena has about as much patience as a five year old and nothing on Blair's dresses is sparkly enough to temporarily distract her so she keeps on the violet (it makes her eyes shine) and slips on her nude Louboutin's and slips her credit card into her new Fendi clutch.

"Fine. Let's go."

--

At the party, Blair leaves Serena for five minutes in order to get a new drink and by the time she comes back, S is giggling adorably at an insanely muscled, curly-haired boy and in her head, Blair counts down to the hair flip.

After precisely ten seconds, the wavy hair is tossed oh-so-casually over her shoulder, which effectively shows off her cleavage and her ridiculously long giraffe neck.

Annoyed, Blair scoffs and turns around straight into six feet something of rock hard body and blond tousled hair.

"Maybe you should watch where you're walking."

It's comes out sounding more venomous than she'd expected but she doesn't apologize and keeps glaring and the boy just looks at her funny like he can see _through _her or something and it reminds her too much of Chuck for her to be comfortable.

When she walks away from him, some sort of graceful, polite apology is uttered but Blair doesn't have the patience to wait for it.

An hour later Serena still hasn't sealed the deal with the guy and Mysterious Blonde Model keeps looking at her while talking to Mysterious Bronze Model but not necessarily in a good way.

Blair leaves, because the party sucked anyways.

--

Three days later Serena and Blair are having dinner at Scalinatella when something glints like gold in the low lighting and candlelight of the room.

Blair's first instinct is _Nate_ and the name still has a grip on her heart but she knows that he's out for dinner with that Republican girl at The Spotted Pig and when she looks a little harder she recognizes Mysterious Blonde Model with Mysterious Bronze Model.

She toys absentmindedly with her pasta, trying not to turn around and look but someone taps on her shoulder and when she looks up there she is.

"Jasper. Jasper Whitlock. We met at Alice's party?"

Blair smiles prettily, shakes his hand in return and says, "I'm Blair Waldorf," with as much self-importance as she can muster.

Serena's face lights up, "So you know Emmett?" and Jasper chuckles in return.

"Yeah. He's dating my sister."

"All the good ones are taken," she says with a flirtatious grin while she fiddles with the stem of her red wine glass.

Blair forces herself to not say _hasn't stopped you before_ but hates being bitter so she swallows the words down with a sip of a Cosmopolitan and turns towards Jasper.

"So, are you on a date?"

She gestures towards Bronze because straight guys are never that good looking, and from across the room she sees him smile and the glint of the light off his teeth are a little off-putting.

"Definitely not. In fact, I would love to take you for dinner sometime."

Serena smiles, nudging Blair's foot under the table and after she's given Jasper her number and he walks away, she scolds Serena for possibly scuffing her new Prada's.

--

Jasper invites her over to his apartment and Blair pretends to be unimpressed but on the inside she's reeling.

The graceful Vanderbilt manor barely holds a candle to this place. It's cozy and perfect and so expensive looking that Blair has to stop herself from planning herself into his life room by room.

The other boy, Edward, pokes his head out and stares at her with angry black eyes and Jasper gently steers her away from Edward and towards the living room with the large roaring fireplace.

He offers her a place to sit on the large couch and sits across from her, settling into the suede and watching her intently.

"So, Blair, where are you from?"

"Upper East Side," and that's where she strains herself to stay nice, "where are you from?"

"Texas," he says with a drawl and Blair utters an _ew _before she can help it and an amused grin spreads over his face.

"So how did you make your way from _Texas,_" the word is said with disdain, "to the better coast of the United States?"

"Well, that's an awfully long story."

She looks up at him from underneath her eyelashes and says, "I have time."

He laughs at her, a beautiful sound that musicians probably dream about, only saying _not enough _in response.

--

Blair leans in towards Jasper and parts her lips.

His finger rubs her pulse on her wrist and he leans away.

Alice smirks in the corner.

--

Jasper's ex-girlfriend is just as tiny as Blair and even prettier and she's not sure how to feel about her.

She's always been jealous of people who are blonde, tall, curvy, leggy, _perfect _and while Jasper's bitchy sister fits the bill Alice reads more like Blair on paper than anyone else and no wonder he doesn't want her.

Blair is at a dinner with the Cullen family when she realizes this and becomes anxious and nervous and she calmly tells Jasper that she's going to the ladies room.

Edward cuts her off, tells her the toilet is clogged.

Emmett starts laughing loudly, following it with a, "Yeah, that would be my fault. I ate burritos for lunch." He fake grimaces and everyone else laughs along with him and Serena (who put herself next to Emmett) giggles girlishly while placing her hand on his elbow. Rosalie glares daggers and Alice laughs at the absurdity of it all.

Then Jasper excuses them both with his typical manners and steers her towards his room before she can tell Serena to back off _for once. _

"Blair, there's one upstairs. I'll show you the way."

But they don't make it to the bathroom because his fingers on her elbow make her skin tingle and she gets distracted.

--

Jasper goes over to Serena's apartment to hang out and while Blair is searching through Serena's things for the blouse she took, Jasper sits down in the overstuffed armchair.

The light from the lamp hits him _just so_ and it almost looks like-

"Cool scars."

She says it with admiration and maybe a tinge of jealously for an adventure she missed out on but Jasper quickly puts on a cashmere Ralph Lauren sweater and rubs his arms as if he's trying to get warm.

He looks longingly towards Blair's door and doesn't say anything.

--

"I don't like this guy."

Blair laughs over her house salad, watching the feelings settle on Nate's face because to her, he's always been easy to read.

"Why not? I do."

"He's _weird_, Blair. He stares at you like…"

Nate trails off, not quite sure he can put his thoughts into words and Blair shivers because she knows exactly what he means.

"You sure you just aren't jealous?"

She meant to say it teasingly, but it comes out differently and so serious that Blair finds herself regretting it.

Nate laughs, says "Of course not," with a grin in her direction but it falls flat and sounds hollow.

--

Blair runs into Edward at a Starbucks, sees him sitting in a corner sulking while reading Keats and she thinks he'd get along great with Humphrey.

She walks over, grande skinny vanilla latte with no foam in her left hand and brand new Jimmy Choo bag in the other.

He says a whispered _hello_ before she opens her mouth to greet him, and he smiles down at his book crookedly.

She responds with a _hey_ but when he looks up at her, something in his eyes shifts and he looks so broken that she can't bear to look at it.

"Tell Jasper to call me."

He murmurs an okay, the sound of his voice matching the fabric of the velvet armchair, and looks back at his book.

--

"It's nothing personal."

Alice lightly sets her hand on top of Blair's, quickly pulling it away seconds after, before setting her chin in her hands.

"It's just that I've never known anything other than Jasper."

Her eyes smolder and her voice sounds so heartbroken even though it never cracks and she's not crying, not even tearing up, but the way she says it reminds Blair of a time when Nate Archibald was her whole past, present, and future when he still looked at her like brown was better than blue and before Chuck shattered her perfect expectations.

Alice smiles before Blair breathes out _okay_.

--

The next time she sees Jasper, she takes him by the hand and he doesn't flinch.

Their "relationship" is the most unhealthy thing she's ever done because she never feels like enough for him and he leaned away when she tried to kiss him but he doesn't leave her alone and she feels like she's suffocating when he stares at her with that piercing gaze.

He grasps her arm and pulls her close and kisses her so hard she feels lightheaded and the space behind her eyes hurt and her lips scream in protest.

It happens so fast that she doesn't have time to close her eyes and one second he's pressing against her and the next she's standing next to no one, left only with bruised lips and black and blue arms.

--

She ends up at Nate's door the next morning, tears in her eyes and a crack in her voice.

When he opens the door, he almost double takes, worry taking over his face as he restrains himself from yelling.

"God, Blair, what..what happened to you?"

She ignores the question, instead looking into his blue eyes and breathing deeply.

"I miss you."

And she takes it as some kind of sign that he knows exactly what she means, hugs her close and kisses her temple, pure and sweet and the fairytale she's always dreamed.

"Come inside."

The door opens wide and Blair follows him in, holds his hand and tucks a piece of hair behind his ear, blushing when he looks at her _that way_ boys do when they love you.

--

The bruises fade and before soon her porcelain skin is flawless again.

Sometimes at night, while Nate's sleeping, she'll run her fingers over her lips and try to remember the crushing feeling of Jasper kissing her, but with age that'll fade too.

--

_Blair Waldorf is buried on a sunny day in February when she's 71._

_The day is sunny and everything in the city sparkles, but the wind is still bitingly cold and Nate bitterly thinks that it's a lot like Blair herself_

_Serena died five years prior, so Chuck and Nate drink scotch together and remember the girl they both loved so much it hurt. _

_The funeral is beautiful, just as Blair would've wanted, and Nate's kids and grandchildren sit with him in the front row. He shakes too many hands to be comfortable as everyone apologizes for his loss and says things that don't mean anything to him. _

_From the corner of his eye, he'll see his teenage granddaughter Adrianna (who's always been more like Serena than anyone else) flirting with a pale skinned, blonde haired boy._

_If he squints hard enough, he thinks it could be-, but his old age takes the thought away before it has fully formed and he doesn't think about it again. _

--

**So this whole thing was for mystripedskirt, because she humored me and wrote an NS so I figured I should reciprocate with some NB love. I hope you all enjoyed it, I had an awesome time writing it. Please REVIEW!!!! And I'd love requests for next chapter. And I don't own anything.**


	3. Eric Northman

**III. Eric Northman**

--

"You know what we should do this year?"

"Hmm?"

Blair blows on her nails, freshly painted with Essie's blood red After Sex. The sun is gloriously bright, and the old-fashioned white Juicy Couture one piece is doing wonders for her figure.

Serena shifts, adjusting her microscopic neon yellow Brazilian-cut thong and Blair looks away.

"We should totally go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras."

The tortoiseshell Chanel frames slide down Blair's perfect ski-jump nose and her eyebrows raise in disdain.

"We are not going to Louisiana."

"But we could meet vampires!"

"S, I hate to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure you've already met one. There's no way that Little J isn't one. It's just too much black eyeliner and leather for any human with a so-called sense of fashion."

Serena rolls her eyes and Blair continues to bask in the glow of the St. Bart's sun.

"It'll piss off Chuck."

Blair finishes the margarita sitting on the stand next to her, ignoring Serena's puppy dog eyes until her drink is finished.

"I'm in."

--

Mardi Gras sucks.

Serena gets drunk, and has a multicolored collection of beads numbered somewhere around 100.

Blair hates the South.

And Chuck doesn't call.

--

Blair honestly can't remember how she ended up in Bon Temps, LA. Only that apparently Serena thought, (and that should've been her first clue, because when does Serena ever _think?_) that it was some kind of Little France town that she just had to visit on their way home from New Orleans.

Well everyone talks in those terrible Southern accents, and they don't even pronounce Bon Temps the right way. When she tries to correct the redheaded waitress at what is apparently the only restaurant in town, she only gets a weird look until she shoos the obviously mentally incompetent waitress away.

"This is all your fault. You could've flashed people in Paris. At least the Ritz is clean!"

Blair hisses through her front teeth at Serena before storming off to the bathroom. Before she makes it there, she collides into someone equally tiny but blonde.

"Well, excuse me! I just didn't even see you there, I'm so distracted!"

"Who are you people?!"

Blair yells exasperatedly, throwing her arms up in the waitresses' face and stomping on her Fendi Jardin Suede Platform Pumps all the way to the door marked ladies.

--

**Your sister won't stop flirting with inanimate objects**. **Send the jet.**

Blair hates how her fingers type in the number before her mind can really process it, and she saves it in drafts because like hell is she asking for help from _Chuck freakin' Bass. _

She glances over towards where Serena was flirting with a pool stick, but is now flirting with the scruffy-but-kinda-cute-if-you-like-lumberjacks bartender and she sighs before pressing send.

She needs to get the hell out of Louisiana.

--

The stupid waitress who doesn't know how to walk is too busy flirting with a pale, dark-haired man to pay attention to Blair's request for another glass of whatever shitty merlot they're serving.

"Excuse me."

No one answers, and Blair Waldorf doesn't do well with being ignored.

"Well, I know down here in this little tiny disease-infested town, you only have so many chances before you have to marry your cousins. And yes, he's relatively good-looking. But if you don't get me another glass of wine in the next five minutes, I'm not going to tip you, and you won't be able to buy your cheap Wet n' Wild makeup this week."

Blair finishes the monologue with a sickly sweet smile and she takes in the open mouths and silence as a compliment.

The handsome man whispers, "Eric would either love her or hate her."

The bottle-blonde sighs. "It's worth a try."

"Hi, I'm Sookie, and this is my fiancée Bill."

"Great. I only care about the wine, because there is no way I'm getting through this night sober. I'll be waiting at my table when you decide to start working again."

Bill grins, "I think he'd like her."

--

Bill walks over towards Blair and Serena, which of course means Serena starts flirting with him, and when he offers to take them to a real club Blair practically has to hold Serena back from rubbing against him.

"That'd be so much fun!"

Eye roll, deep breath.

"Well, of course I feel obligated to inform you that it's a vampire club."

Serena giggles and gasps, practically clawing Blair's arm in the process but Blair grins at her friend's enthusiasm nonetheless.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?"

--

When Blair walks into the bar, the first thing she sees is some sort of god perched on a throne before everyone.

"That's Eric. He's the sheriff around here."

Blair watches as Bill and Sookie go talk to him, glancing around at the other (very) attractive vampires and shooing away the ones who aren't up to her standards.

It's really no different than high school or college boys.

Eric gazes at her while Bill and Sookie address him and he waves them both away after ten minutes to go talk to the human himself.

--

Serena becomes a fangbanger approximately 30 minutes after being at the club. It's some young, beautiful vampire with blue eyes like Nate and dark hair like Dan so Blair really doesn't expect her to resist.

Eric sidles up next to her at the bar while Serena is lead into a bathroom stall and when Blair turns around and sees him she frowns.

"What do you want now?"

"To know why you think you can talk to me like this. It'd almost be….endearing," he leans in close and whispers in her ear, "if it wasn't so dangerous."

"Considering you're freakishly large and you know, a vampire, you should really work on intimidating poor little damsels in distress like me."

"Who do you think you're talking to?"

"Someone with bad highlights? Not that I can blame you really. There isn't a worthy hair colorist for states, let alone miles."

He toys with the stem of her martini glass before smiling broadly.

"Pam will be offended."

"Maybe Pam should learn how to take criticism, especially when it's necessary."

At this, a blonde vampire appears at Eric's side and starts speaking in rapid Swedish before moving closer to Blair.

Eric stops her, placing one hand on her shoulder hesitantly and says, "We could have fun with this one," a little too flirtatiously.

"As if."

"Who knows maybe I'll grow on you?"

"I'd prefer cancer. Or Vanessa Humphrey."

He chuckles like it's his own inside joke and her insides twist.

"I seem to have that effect on people."

"Maybe it's for a reason."

The words are right but the bite is off and Blair feels like she's found a worthy sparring partner again.

--

Eric keeps feeding her martinis and Blair can feel her self-control slowly slipping away.

"I hate feeling powerless," she whispers into her glass and he grins at her with something off-putting in his gaze.

She'd cringe if it didn't remind her of power and evil and Chuck Bass.

"I can fix that, if you'd like."

--

Old habits die hard, and the plan forms before she even really tries.

"Kidnap me."

Blair twitches when Eric flashes his fangs, but doesn't back down and repeats her request again.

"Kidnap me. Get Serena out of here, glamour her so she doesn't remember, and then kidnap me."

His fangs glint underneath the terrible lighting in Fangtasia and Blair takes the grin to be a yes.

--

"What is it about men and blondes? I mean, Serena I can understand because she's practically a goddess, but Sookie Stackhouse? Honestly? I can practically smell her Clairol Nice n'Easy from across the room."

Eric opens his mouth to speak, but pauses as CNN's missing persons coverage of Blair Waldorf shines through Fangtasia. He grins because he can.

"I know your Serena is physically appealing, but intellectually she's the equivalent of a rock. You, on the other hand…"

Blair raises one perfectly waxed eyebrow in a practiced tradition.

"Put some ice on it, E. Not going to happen in this lifetime."

"Oh, you have no idea."

She rolls her eyes even under his lascivious stare and tries to ignore the chills on her arms.

--

Bon Temps has never seen this much attention before.

CNN brings in the big guns, 24/7 coverage about the Upper East Side princess who's disappeared off the face of the Earth. Oddly enough, Bill is the prime suspect for about a week. This is mostly a pain in Eric's ass, because it leads to a lot of Sookie stomping her feet and declaring how much she hates him.

During one such session, Blair lounges in silk on a chaise and intervenes because Eric's always been semi-helpless when it comes to Sookie Stackhouse.

"For Christ's sake Sookie, pull yourself together. No plan of mine is going to unravel to the point that Bill will be held accountable for my disappearance. God, listening to you is like listening to Penelope complain about Nate. Entertaining at first, but pathetic and annoying now."

Sookie's mouth opens and closes as if she's not sure how to react to Blair Waldorf. Eric doesn't blame her; he's not really sure what to do with Blair either.

--

Chuck Bass walks into Fangtasia like he owns the place.

He's young and dark-haired and pale and dark-eyed and reminds Eric too much of Godric to be comfortable.

Basically, he hates him on sight.

Both vampires and humans watch as the human walks up to Eric's throne, face steely and hand poised on a blank check.

"How much do you need?"

Eric has to admire his audacity, the lack of a proper greeting and the accusation all in one sentence is a feat not many would survive.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh please, Serena told me all about you and the strange effect that you had on Blair when she was vulnerable. The police aren't going to ever find her when you're involved, and I've found that money can get rid of almost any problem. No matter how invincible the problem thinks they are."

Eric is out of his chair and talking into Chuck's ear before Chuck knows what's going on.

"You're one to talk, human. I can guarantee I am more invincible than you will ever be, and I have no need for your money nor you. Your Blair on the other hand…"

Chuck clenches his fists and gnashes his teeth.

"Well, maybe she doesn't want to be found, hmm?"

Eric orders security to take Chuck out of the building before the human does something rash. Blair wouldn't be pleased if Eric had to make an example of him.

--

About three days into the commotion, Eric gets a call from Sophie-Ann.

"Really Eric? Another human. She better taste like the fuckin' rainbow for all this attention. It's really not worth the bad publicity, darling."

Blair's watching the news, turning sheet white as Chuck Bass talks on Larry King Live.

"Trust me, she will be an excellent addition to our species."

Pam smirks when she hears the affection in his tone, and he almost snaps at her for being disrespectful.

When he gets off the phone, all she says is, "At least she has fantastic shoes."

He doesn't say anything because he happens to agree, the Choo's speak for themselves.

--

She fades from the news after three weeks, when a young teenager who was bullied walks into a school and kills seven people before killing himself.

When she sees the breaking news broadcast, she murmurs, "I would've bullied him you know," with tears glistening on her cheeks. On anyone else it would sound remorseful. On her, it just sounds proud.

_They better not forget me_, is what her sentence really means.

He watches with his gorgeous eyes and she thinks it all might be worth it.

"Blair, don't be foolish. We still can."

_I won't_ lurks under the subtext of his.

She smirks halfheartedly with her eyes still shining and that's when Eric leans in to kiss her.

--

He's no stranger to women's bodies; it's been two thousand years of breasts and butts and g spots and the noises they all make.

Blair's no different. She still moans when he plunges deep and groans when his tongue curls around her nipple.

But, Blair _is _different. She does this breathy-gasp thing when he nips her collarbone and she smiles devilishly when she bucks her hips and he grimaces in pleasure.

It's the way she (in all her tiny, human, weak glory) flips him over and grinds down hard until he feels like he could drown in her, is drowning in her, and then he can't stop from coming and his name leaves her lips in a scream of ecstasy.

He wouldn't have taken her for a screamer.

Later, her brown hair is fanned out against the white sheets and her cheeks are still flushed pink.

"I'd like you better if you sparkled," she says with a teasing smiles and he kisses his way up her navel towards her neck.

"I'll have Pam do some experimenting with my hair color then."

They both know he's kidding, that he'd never really change for anyone who wasn't Godric or Sookie, but Blair shudders when he touches her and it's nice to pretend.

His journey north stops at the blood pulsing through her jugular and Blair notices.

"Ready?" He asks with an eyebrow raised in a challenge, fangs perched on her skin and eyes ablaze.

Blair doesn't back down.

--

It doesn't hurt as bad as she thought it would.

--

_When Blair wakes up, she pushes her hands through the dirt and feels it sticks under her fingernails. Eric murmurs something, and she leans in closer to hear. _

_It's his breath on her face that sends chills up her back and when the fangs pop out she thinks she might cry. _

_He runs a thumb under her eyes and murmurs something again in Swedish, and geez who the fuck speaks Swedish anymore?_

_Still, when he pulls her close, she doesn't resist, and she runs a tongue over her fangs before running her tongue over his. _

_Redemption tastes like blood and dirt and Eric Northman. _

_Blair grins. Heads will roll._


End file.
